Life

Of a never-ending struggle

Why do my words seem so jumbled, when I actually get to penning them down?
Why does everything seem blur, when I intentionally open my eyes to see them?
Why does every thought in my mind begin to confuse me, when I carefully decide to analyze them?
Why does everything suddenly seem so complicated and scary, when I deliberately aim to bring in changes hoping for the better?
Why do people and situations start to intimidate me, when I courageously gather myself to face them all?

Am I struggling? I have been. And Yes! I am.

Struggling with emotions – in the never ending pursuit of happiness.
Struggling with righteousness – the nails of karma, conscience, right & wrongs hammered into my mind, while being surrounded with unapologetic atrocities.
Struggling with situations – thrust upon with little fault of mine.
Struggling with people – some of whom I mistakenly chose, some I was given no choice for and some who chose not to choose me.
Struggling to cope – lack of morality and being shamelessly discarded.
Struggling with life (thankfully, not to live) – all I wanted was to live non-invasively and happily.
Struggling for survival!

Will I overcome? Time will tell. The struggle is on & goes on!

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Hello world!

Hello World !

Every software programmer would be very familiar with the old phrase “Hello World”, as he would have opened his eyes into the all so cryptic binary world of software seeing these two words. The first program of his life was written and here gleamed these two words on the screen. This meant that the code he had written was indeed working and these words were an evidence of that. He beamed with happiness as he had now seemed to identify the ”right path to success”. He felt it was “his” moment, his ‘eureka’ moment. Suddenly the whole world seemed to be just an order away. But was it? And this is where it all started….

Started a race….a race for winning, a target for achieving, a hunger for ruling,  a struggle for survival etc., etc., He learnt to crawl, then walk, then brisk it up, and did not realize when suddenly one day, one fine day, he was running. And running. And running. He was indeed running, but

running a race for winning,

running behind a target for achieving,

running behind a hunger for ruling,

running in a struggle for survival,

but all along, little did he realize….in the end, he was only running behind a pursuit for happyness…..

Happyness? What is this? He was always entangled in the getting to spell “happyness” correctly. Obviously, he was running to get a 10-on-10 in Dictation in primary school. Happyness was always h-a-p-p-I-n-e-s-s. Did he then care for anything beyond the obvious? For that matter, how much of it, did he care for even today?

But did it matter then?

“Obviously Not”

Happiness was never the goal of life. It was a way of life, and was implicit. It was always ‘absolutely’ there. He couldn’t care less..

But does it matter today?

“Mmmm…It surely does”

Happiness in this time, is the motto of life. It’s no longer a way of life, but a means towards life. Today, it has to be explicitly derived. It is now ‘relative’ and ‘subjective’.

Conserve and nurture happyness..It will be gone before you blink !!

Why did this definition of happiness change through his course of life. All he was doing was just running, eyes fixed on the finish line. Then where did he falter?

While running, all his energy and focus was so fixed on the finish line, that he could not see beyond the obvious finish line.

It did not occur to him that the finish line was a moving target and it kept moving away and away as soon as he thought it was getting closer and closer.

It did not occur to him that as much as he seemed to get closer and closer to the finish line, he moved farther and farther from his origin.

It did not occur to him that as much as he tried to untangle the hurdles that came his way, the more difficult it became for him to decipher the true reason behind his race.

It did not occur to him that “Hello World”  was not plain and simple as it seemed. It was encrypted with the most complex algorithms of the same binary world; the same racing track he was running on.

These two encrypted words had snatched away so much from him – the real meaning and sensation of happyness, the true sense of belonging, the real meaning and reason of existence, a rested and peaceful soul, a silent moment of leisure and freedom,  and a gamut of invaluable, lovable moments, emotions which were left behind on the origin.

As William Henry Davies beautifully puts it:

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. 

He couldn’t agree more. He couldn’t regret more….
Look for the key to de-crypt “Hello World” in the maze of the encrypted world, and decipher your cryptic existence !!
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Just Me!

Sharing a few quotes, to give a context of my creations to you:

“We spend our lives talking about this mystery. Our Life” – Jules Renard

“Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present” – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

“Existence is the end of endless eternity without a beginning or an end.” – Dejan Stojanoviæ

“Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.” – Erich Fromm

The opinions, emotions and writings are personal and not intended to change yours. To know more, read on…

Happy Reading!!

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